Newborns have a cuteness factor that makes you want to care for them. You are concerned for their well-being. Their huge eyes occasionally lock onto you, their fingers dance, and their face runs through a gamut of expressions.

Their cuteness is not to be confused with attractiveness, because newborns are ugly. If you don’t think that they are ugly, I question if you have ever seen one up close. A fresh human is a wrinkly affair, misshapen and barely formed. They quickly go from a serene set of confused by inquisitive eyes to a crumpled ball of pink accentuated with an open mouth which emits the most horrific, pained cries. Oh mercy, Clumpo is ugly when he cries, but I go through some heavy emotions wanting to care for him immediately. Tonight, he cried himself out of breath, until he just froze….seconds on the clock followed my slowed heartbeat as I waited for the situation to resolve. It was terrifying, until his next gasp which lead back to crying.

This little guy is so incomplete and imperfect, and I love him so much. He has not shown any affection back to me, and I still love him so much. I’m so confused all the time, wanting to understand cause and effect with him….why he moves the way he does and what it indicates….why he cries the way he does, and how to remedy it. Right now, everything is so random.

I’m happy because I know that he will get cuter. He will get less ugly. His movements and actions will make more sense.

A lot of people want pictures, but newborns are creepy. I was hoping that everyone would wait a few more days, but the common consensus seems to be “show us a picture, we don’t mind if he’s ugly. We want to see the cute”. Here’s a picture of him at 16 hours old. He’s mostly iris.